Film: Full Metal Jacket
“Do you suck dick, private Pile?”, “Sir, no sir.” “Bullshit!, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!”
Not really meant to be funny. More like side-splittingly hilarious. One to watch, again, and again.

Drink: Good quality cider
If you can stand drinking the same thing you did when you were twelve, then good quality cider is an excellent choice. If, on the other hand, you prefer something along the lines of White Lightning, then feel free to shoot yourself. Right now.
Guinness comes a close second in the drink stakes, but it has to be ice cold, and draught only. Bottles are bad enough, but if you drink cans you’re a White Lightning case. Sorry.

Car: Land Rover Defender 2.5TD
There is just something incredibly fun about Land Rovers, especially Defenders. My ultimate car has to be the one pictured (2.5TD, black, short wheelbase, roofrack, basically the works). Room in the back for 8 Scouts and gear enough for two weeks, or me, my own gear and one double mattress.

Expensive toy: Eickhorn KM2000 tactical knife
Costing me around £90 when I bought this in Germany, this has to be one of my most expensive ‘toys’. It’s a bloody good knife, though. Holds an excellent edge, comes with a great kydex-type sheath, a diamond sharpening face, and a sturdy belt loop. My only one gripe, is it’s electrically conductive, but who cares, it’s around 10” long, and looks amazing!